Monthly Archives: July 2013

colorful geometry

when the cartoon clown 2013-07-31
biffs me on the head
with this oversized nerf mallet
I see colorful triangles

when the car-choked town
sniffs the air about my head
with oversized nostrils
I smell colorful rectangles

when the smoke brown handkerchief
hangs on the line to dry
I hear colorful circles

when the cartoon clown
sniffs the air about my head
and hangs it on the line to dry
I see colorful triangles

when the car-choked town
biffs me on the head
with their oversized nostrils
I smell colorful rectangles

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flying away

I am gonna be on a plane 2013-07-30
in 3 days
gonna be gone
for 3 weeks
but won’t be long
flying away

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fun and mental

let’s scream out loud 2013-07-28
and jump in the water 
let’s throw banana splits at each other 
it’s fundamental 
we’re fun and mental 
let’s eat tacos 
and snort tequila 
let’s call in sick 
and be Ferris Bueller 
let’s get naked

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make me a game (nevermind)

make me a game 2013-07-27
that has the leveling system
of Skyrim
and the combat mechanic
of .. Skyrim
but with the graphic detail of
… ok, Skyrim
but the replayability
of… shit, Skyrim

Just make Skyrim an MMO
you are already doing that?
oh yeah
keep up the good work, Bethesda
see you next year
Elder Scrolls Online
check it out
coming soon

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delayed gratification

people who put off 2013-07-26
unpleasant or difficult things
are called procrastinators
I’m a procrastinator sometimes
people who put off
pleasant or enjoyable things
to do
are called pleasure delayers
I’m a pleasure delayer
I guess that I’m both

I’m a pleasure delayer

I knew at an early age
that I was bound to be
a pleasure delayer
I loved Lucky Charms
the cereal for kids
and I ate it in this manner:
I would always eat the branny bits first
and leave the sugary “charms”
for later
to reward myself
my adult life
has basically been an
elaboration of that

I’m a pleasure delayer
(wait for it)

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gas off plug out


gas off
plug out
did you hear the door close?
I heard the door close
did you hear it lock tight?
I heard it lock tight
Do you have the car keys?
I got the car keys
You got the card
I got the card
I got the food
You got the food
water & bagels
water & bagels?

we’re outta here
we are out of here
here we go
We got the car keys
I got money
you got money
we are out

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Drum Circle of Fire

a goofy bit of musical bizarro theatricalio.2013-07-24


[various exclamations of joy]
Dude, I’m on fire.
Yeah dude, it’s sick!
No, I mean, my drum is literally on fire, dude.
[various exclamations of shock, horror, and agony turning to stupefied awe and then laughter]
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It Is Hot



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Saturday Night Live

If you don’t already know.. I’m writing and recording a song for every day of 2013 and posting them here.  This is the 203rd song so far.


It’s about the cast of Saturday Night Live losing at least 2 of its strongest members.  I think Jason Sudekis is leaving too.  And I read somewhere that Weekend Update host Seth Meyers is leaving mid-season next.  They lost Kristen Wiig last season and she was the funniest member in many years.
They do have some really good new members, particularly Kate McKinnet and Cecily Strong, who I think have been turning in great work early on in their careers at SNL.  I’d like to see more of Nasim Pedrad, who I think is excellent but hasn’t been allowed to really shine yet.  Terran Killam is brilliant, I think, and when he learns how to reign it in when needed, he’s going to be one of the historical greats of SNL.

Well, this has turned into a very bloggy thing today.  Quite uncharacteristic.

Maybe it’s because the song itself is the shortest one so far.  14 seconds.


I hope Bill Hader and Fred Armisen 
left SNL of their own volition 
otherwise, the producers may require 
psychiatric evaluation

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